Long-term care is an important topic for people to learn about sooner rather than later. At some point, they or a loved one will probably need it. And, when this happens, they’ll have to play catch up … and there’s a lot of information to digest.
Change is challenging for everyone, and can be especially hard for an adult who may suddenly need assistance after years (or decades) of being the one who helped others. Older adults in particular may struggle with the uncomfortable idea of losing a lifetime of independence. Family and friends may realize that assistance is needed long before the person themself accepts or admits it. They may also be reaching the limits of support that they are able to give. Raising the subject will undoubtedly be uncomfortable. Here are some tips to help guide the conversation that no one wants to have.
For someone who has been used to living alone and independently, the thought of “a stranger” coming in to “boss them around” can be both scary and embarrassing. Begin by framing in-home health care as “an extra pair of hands” who can actually help your loved one be more independent. Perhaps they’ve stopped walking through the neighborhood due to fears of falling or getting lost, or no longer visit with friends because they aren’t up to cooking or cleaning for guests. Stress that help at home now will improve their wellbeing and quality of life, and will greatly extend the time they’re able to live independently.
If your loved one insists that everything is “fine,” gently point out concrete examples where assistance is needed. And because they love you, too, it never hurts to mention how much worry and stress would be taken off your shoulders, knowing that there’s another person checking in and helping out.
Allowing your loved one to “save face” will go a long way to softening the blow of such a major lifestyle change. Remember that you’re speaking to an adult, not a child, and allow them as much agency as is possible. They should be able to meet with prospective caregivers to find the right ‘fit’ and ask questions to have a clear understanding of what services a caregiver will provide. Suggest a trial period of a few months to give them time to adjust and see how in-home care can improve their quality of life. Assure them that if things aren’t working and they’re unhappy, changes can be made.
If your loved one is still reluctant about (or adamantly opposed to) in-home care, call in the cavalry. Many times they may be more open to accepting the suggestion when it comes from a doctor, clergyperson, or trusted friend. Don’t hesitate to call on a respected third party who also only wants the best for them.
Persuading someone that in-home care is the right choice for them can be challenging, but the benefits are significant. The process of easing an individual/loved one into accepting care within the home is different in each case. Be patient, be supportive, and always lead with their best interest in mind.
Long-term care is an important topic for people to learn about sooner rather than later. At some point, they or a loved one will probably need it. And, when this happens, they’ll have to play catch up … and there’s a lot of information to digest.
Our nation is aging. The Census Bureau predicts that by 2034, adults 65+ will outnumber children 18 and under. Today there are many care options available to older adults depending on where they are in terms of independence and level of care needed. One person may still live in their home and only need help with light housekeeping and medication reminders, whereas another may live in an assisted living community and need help bathing, dressing and preparing meals. Fortunately, there are many care options available today to help older adults age happily in place and to live life to the fullest regardless of limitations.
The American Health Care Association estimates that there are nearly 30,000 assisted living facilities in the U.S. today and more than 15,000 skilled nursing facilities. Choosing the right living environment for yourself or a loved one can be hard. There are many facility types, costs, locations, and specialists involved that trying to choose between skilled nursing and assisted living can feel overwhelming.